Third-Floor Construction

At first, I awoke to a frightening sound,

Voices, shovelling, hammering, all ‘round!

It was quite a shock, I have to admit.

I didn’t like it, not even a bit!

.

For I live, with my roommate, on Grebel’s fourth floor.

Our window looks out, not on green trees galore,

But over lots of fine pebbles atop a fine roof,

And a stone wall of the chapel, looking nice and rainproof.

.

Now, I have to tell you before I go on,

That I think this view is a bit of a yawn,

But at least it’s quiet all the way up there,

And no one can see into our room or stare.

.

I’d gotten quite used to our private space,

Which is why, though they’d warned us, I was surprised to be faced

By a crew of people just inches away,

Working there, loudly, through all of the day.

.

The whole floor, it seems, was in an uproar,

Because of these workers, who were really hardcore.

We talked of it, like it was big breaking-news.

It wasn’t like snack night, but it did amuse,

Until, at last, the work was all done.

We offered them cookies as thanks for the fun.

And now, our view is of the lovely new roof,

But life seems a little bit quiet and DULL.

Written by Kyrie Vala-Webb

WHAT GREBEL COOKIE MATCHES YOUR PERSONALITY???

A collaborative effort between Sarah Garland, Jennifer van Overbeeke, Kryie Vala-Webb, and Alicia Brubacher, others laughed in the trial efforts

1. If you were baking a batch of cookies, you’re more likely to bake something:

a) Traditional and simple

b) Super-sweet and loaded with chocolate

c) With as few ingredients as possible but sill delicious

d) With a bit more spice

2. You just received an inheritance from your Great-aunt Myrna. Her only stipulation is that you have to use it to travel. You choose which country?

a) England, just think of all the history.

b) Germany, you have your heart set on visiting little alpine villages.

c) Australia, where you can sit on the beach and relax all day.

d) Indonesia, the cross-cultural experience would be amazing.

3. Oh no!!! Your roommate accuses you of eating their package of homemade cookies that their Grandma set all the way from Steinbach! Being the perfect roommate you never touched their cookies so you use all the knowledge you gained in your PACS course and follow this course of action:

a) Deny eating their cookies and explain how you would never do anything so inconsiderate.

b) Determine everyone who has been in your room around the time of the incident and question them.

c) Call their Grandma to get the original recipe and bake a double batch of cookies by braving a scary apartment as a show of good faith.

d) Make an impassioned plea at Commie supper for the return of the cookies and for the culprit to reveal themselves.

4. You are enjoying a nice peaceful lunch of Top o’ Potato when you see someone leave the cafeteria with a Grebel cookie! You: a) Quietly approach them and tell them that if they do not return the cookie that you will inform a don about their actions.

b) Tell them that it is silly to only steal one cookie when you have two hands and promptly show them the several cookies that you were able to take out of the caf.

c) Turn your head and pretend to ignore the offender.

d) Yell at the top of your lungs “Stop in your tracks perpetrator! Return that cookie or suffer the consequences!” effectively drawing everyone’s attention to that person.

5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You have the lucky fortune of having a birthday that falls in the school year. During meal time you are cheered onto your chair, the thought that is running through your mind is:

a) It is tradition, so I might as well stand here and take it.

b) Wait, is Happy Birthday three four, or four four time so I can clap along?

c) You are avoiding the caf like a plague, and when they finally do sing to you, you blush profusely and keep your head down.

d) I hope everyone knows Happy Birthday in French so I can start another round!

Answers:

Mostly A’s: You are a chocolate chip cookie. You are traditional, with a strong sense of justice and you demonstrate leadership abilities. While you may not be adventurous and incredibly exciting, your friends love your sense of loyalty and value your friendship. If ever someone has a problem, them come to you and depend on your opinion. You’re a classic! (Another Grebel chocolate chipper Philip Cutmore).

Mostly B’s: You are a double chocolate cookie. You always put 110% into everything you do, and you are engaged in the community and the people around you. People sometimes think you are over the top, but your friends appreciate the enthusiasm that you bring to every situation. When something needs to get done, others come to you with the knowledge that you will get the job done with humour and style. (Another Grebel double chocolater Jenn Vanhie).

Mostly C’s: You are a sugar cookie. You have a loving, and giving personality. You are super sweet, and avoid confrontations at all costs. Those who underestimate you think that you are timid, but your friends know that you are aren’t a door mat, and know that you will stand up for the underdog. You’re a friend to all you meet and greet life with a smile. And by the way… are you in PACS? (Another Grebel sugarer CalebYeung).

Mostly D’s: You are a ginger snap. You’re adventurous and exotic. You love to try new things and aren’t afraid to speak your mind. Others might think that you are a few courses short of a full time student, but those who know you well know that you are grounded in your beliefs and aren’t afraid to be yourself. You march to the beat of your own drum. (Another Grebel ginger snapper Hannah Redekop, or so we like to say).

From [one of] the editors’ desk,

So I’ve been doing my research a bit on GrebelSpeaks lately and I have made many interesting discoveries. I have found issues of GrebelSpeaks that are older than I am and I have been reading them a bit too often, instead of diligently studying. A little too much perhaps but then I wouldn’t be able to bring you the gems I have found. As you may (or may not) know Mary, Paul, Ed and a few others here have been around for quite some time. They have also been Grebelquoted a time or two. So here I have some retro Grebelquotes that I would like to share with you.

I’m late for a meeting but I have to pee first. Mary B-Z ~ march 1998

I really like food. Cheri Otterbein ~ march 1995

We’ll see how things go and how naked I am at the end of the night Ed Janzen ~ august 2003

If you can’t find a co-op job you might as well get pregnant. Paul Penner ~ october 1997

Don’t brush your teeth before chapel choir. Len Enns ~ april 2002

As you probably know these are taken out of context but I’m sure they were funny at the time and I think they’re still funny all these years later. So if you have any funny faculty, staff or administration quotes I would love to hear them and remember to never stop grebelquoting.

Written by Becky Klassen, GrebelSpeaks co-editor

Presenting: University of Waterloo’s FARM MARKET

For the past two weeks I have had the privilege of volunteering at UW’s Farm Market, and have since been inspired to spread the word of its worth on campus.

UW’s Farm Market is a market place that is set up once a week where UW students and staff can come to purchase locally grown produce. It began in 2006 as a collaborative effort between students and UW Food Services and has been successful ever since. The produce is mainly purchased from the Elmira Produce Auction Cooperative, is transported by UW Food Services, and is sold by UW student volunteers to the public.

The variety of products available at this time of year is astounding. Apples, pears, plums, corn on the cob, carrots, peppers, tomatoes and much, much more, adorn tables with their richly coloured splendour. Fresh baked goods such as chocolate two bite brownies, banana loaf, and smoky onion bread scintillate the senses with their aroma. Even a variety of preserves are available for purchase; from canned beats and pickles to strawberry jam and honey. Hey, if you want to brighten up the dim expanse of your dorm room, you could even pick up a stunning yellow fall mum.

There is something for everyone at the Farm Market; even for those of us on an incredible all you can eat meal plan. I know I like to snack between meals, how about you? Why not pick up some locally grown apples or freshly baked chocolate chip cookies? I’m sure they’ll taste better then your no-name brand granola bars…

While purchasing from the Farm Market, you will be buying fresh, nutritious foods at great prices, without even leaving campus, therefore reducing your ecological footprint.

The Farm Market is located in the lower level of the SLC from 9:00am to 1:00pm on Wednesdays for the next two weeks. Hope to see you there!

(Cash or WatCard are accepted. Bring your own bags or buy a biodegradable one for ¢25… in other words, bring your own bag).

Written by Jen van Overbeeke

The arms of unconscious consciousness

i am sitting in a tree. People are walking over the bridge. They are Going Places. i was going places, doing things – i had a list. Everybody makes Lists. But now, at least here, in this moment, in this space, i find myself outside the melting pot of societal urgencies – I am sitting in a tree. Sitting in a tree and sipping corporate jello while people come and go, talking of Michelangelo…(the oft quoted words of prufrock whisper tentatively in my brain…)

Going places. hmm. i wonder where i am going? If only i could sit enshrouded in the tree until this indeterminate equation comes to an end. A tree doesn’t judge. A tree doesn’t criticize. And yet, i feel that tree’s still manage love. i listen to the presence… Trying to hear it speak. But this is no fairy tale fantasy. The tree remains loving, Silent; as squirrels waltz by.

I am still sitting in a tree. People are still going places. But, for the moment I am content to leave the places to them. I have found what I’m here for. I remain, for some arbitrary amount of time, sitting…

Sitting in a Tree.

Written by Josh Enns

PoopShop Vandal Strikes at Grebel!

Poop: natural consequence of food, or funny word used to get cheap laughs when you can't think of anything witty? Sometimes it is both of these things, but a local vandal has been giving the word a more sinister meaning, defacing posters advertising the Poop, er POP Shop. That's right, someone has been adding extraneous o's to signs all around Grebel, transforming the harmless beverage 'pop' into the hilarious non-sequitur 'poop.' While this may been seen by some as the height of comedic wordplay, the joke does grow old, and after several replacements of the defaced posters, the pop shop operators are no longer amused. It is requested that the poopshop vandal, whoever he or she may be, halt heir crusade and stop modifying pop shop posters.

...... heehee ... poop.

We're Back!

GrebelSpeaks is back online! Now that we've got this intarweb thingy figured out, it's nothing but smooth sailing from here on out.

The first edition of GrebelSpeaks is scheduled to come out at the end of next week. If I may say so, it already looks pretty sweet.

That's all for this update.

-Editor