Thursday, December 4, 2008

From (one of) the Editors’ Desks,

I am always so impressed by the talent that is displayed at Grebel Talent Shows. Last night at the Term End Talent Show was no exception. I am glad that so many people are ready and willing to express themselves musically (whether making music or dancing to music). I am also really glad that recently more people have been willing to express themselves poetically or through stories.

But what about the people sitting in the audience? What if we have other talents that aren’t really talents you would display at a talent show? I was talking with a few people and we feel we’re pretty good at organizing our desk. Maybe we could get up in front of Grebel and organize a messy desk for you. We’re also good at collating and I’ve gotten pretty good at delegating with my experience on Student Council. What about the people who are good at finding the integral of x2ex? What about people who can perform a titration effortlessly? What about people who can discuss at length how the animals on campus are affected by humans (case one – a squirrel seen with an entire Grebel cookie. Case two – a squirrel seen with an entire apple. Though a healthier option than the cookie it still isn’t natural squirrel food.)

Well I am also pretty good at cooking and I love to bake. But it is difficult to showcase that talent onstage without an oven or range top. As I tell this to Erik (who is baking cookies in my apartment for his Christmas Cookie Festival. He has commandeered all of the ovens on our floor for cookies!) we have decided it might not be that hard to bake on stage. It could be like on cooking shows where they put the tray of cookies in the oven and immediately pull out the tray that is already baked. So who knows, maybe in the future you will see me on stage organizing, collating or baking!!

Becky Klassen, GrebelSpeaks Co-Editor

Hannah the Wise and Suck Decreasion on Earth

Written By: Jen van Overbeeke

A Creation Story

Once upon a time (well not really “time”) there was a dot. This dot was not big nor was it small, it was not square or circular and it was not quite any one colour but all the colours mixed together. It was not black nor white but shiny and bright. It was a bit of everything yet completely nothing. This is its story, the story of the dot.

This story starts long before you or your grandparents were born. Back before your grandparent’s parents parents parents, when the world did not exist. There was just the dot and empty space. There were no planes, not even any automobiles, and no planets, stars, or mars bars. In fact, there weren’t even galaxies, just empty space and a dot.

Now way back then on a cold and black day (most, well all days were cold and black because there was nothing anywhere to make it anything else but cold and black) just before the dawn of time the dot all of a sudden, out of the blue, grew and grew and grew. As the dot grew it began to think. It thought about how boring it was because nothing existed aside from empty space and cold black days. So the dot thought of what it could do to make its day’s interesting and new. It thought and thought and thought till its thinker was blue and then it knew just what to do.

The dot began by breaking up into many little dots. There was so many dots that they filled all of the space that there was. Then each dot except for one transformed and changed, changed, and changed…

First of all, the dots turned into galaxies and stars and mars bars. Then suns and moons and spoons. Then the dot that was now apart of everything thought to make one more planet that it would call earth. So the one little dot that was left grew bigger and bigger and bigger. Then, like before, that humungous dot broke into many little dots and all the new dots but one began to change. They changed, and changed and changed…

And so earth was created along with people of all kinds and lemon rinds. Birds and beasts, monsters and mountains and much, much more. For each little dot turned unto something new, everything from shoes to planes to cars and even you. But the dot was not done, for there still was one dot left. The one dot that was left began to transform into a thing some like not. The last dot of all, not big or small, not short or tall, became what ticks every second, what we call a day or a month or a year. The last dot of all changed once and for all to time – time with no end or beginning.

That is how some people think we came to be, from a dot that was not big or small, short or tall, square or circular; and not any one colour but all mixed together. The dot wasn’t black or white but shiny and bright. So think if you will, about how we came to be and think of the dot and your reality. Think hard till your thinker turns blue in order to decide what you want to believe is true. Now remember in times of doubt that it’s not how we came to be but why we did that makes life count.

Written by: Josh Enns

A Christmas Tree for Room 4426

As many of you may have noticed, we decided to invest in a (rather expensive) beautiful Christmas tree for room 4426. Though we are thrilled with the outcome of the tree now, there was a time when we thought, “is this really worth it?”

On a cold, snowy day at the end of November, five of us set out to find the perfect Christmas tree. We wanted a big on- eight feet AT LEAST- and we were determined to find one that lived up to the expectations of everybody back at Grebel (we have learned for next time that it is better to keep quiet about plans for purchasing an enormous tree- people were disappointed about the size).

We planned everything well. We had three guys along (thanks to Caleb Jackett, Phillip Rempel, and Eric Kennedy), and a lot of cash (which turned out to be necessary when we found out the price of a tree base- never again.) We arrived at the tree farm in plenty of time to pick a tree in daylight and be back by dinner. What we didn’t count on was our differing opinions in “the perfect tree.” Two hours later Eric Kennedy was still brushing off trees for us to critique. Phil was ready with the saw and Caleb was standing nearby patiently (in shorts nonetheless), waiting to carry (one-handed) our tree. After agonizing over the size, needles, and branch density, we finally made our selection and went to pay. The tree was not cheap, but it was expected. What was NOT expected was the price of the tree base. To compensate, we ate about twenty dollars worth of the free cookies and cider- the only inexpensive thing at the farm.

After eating and paying, we left in the dark, base in hand, excited to get the tree up and looking beautiful. What we were not anticipating was the most challenging experience of our lives- even the engineers couldn’t figure out the base (though Brad Froese did try very hard). Katie Penner was finally able to chain the base to the tree- literally- though there was a price to pay, as the tree gave her an allergic reaction. The tree was also still covered in snow, and we were all soaked and cold. Moods had plummeted by the end, as comments like “oh, it’s smaller than I thought” and “it’s really crooked” flew from the people who were watching.

Nearly two weeks later, the question has come to our heads again. “Was it actually worth it? Was it worth the time and money and loss of space and allergic reactions?” Definitely. Once the tree was straightened and decorated, all comments turned positive. People stop by regularly to tell us that they love our tree. Others have contributed decorations, including a crown of thorns, that have only enhanced the tree’s beauty.

Thanks so much to everyone- the people who could have said we couldn’t have a tree, but said yes; the people who came to the farm to help us; everyone who has contributed ornaments, and everyone who has stopped by to see it! We hope the tree has brought you as much joy as it has brought us!!

Written by: Ellery Penner and Mel Goodfellow

Out in the Cold

Hmm . . . what’s the best thing to do on a Friday night? How does sleeping outside in -14˚ C weather surrounded by snow sound? That is what a group of your fellow Grebelites from Peace Society did on November 21. We joined a group of UW students for Out in the Cold, an event where we slept outside to raise awareness about homelessness in the Waterloo region and money for a local agency called ROOF (Reaching Our Outdoor Friends) that helps youth on the streets.

The night started out with cardboard. We were given cardboard boxes and a slight bit of duct tape. We were told that if we wanted somewhere to sleep, we had to build it. Of course, being Grebelites, we wanted an area promoting that “c” word, community. Hence, up went several flimsy walls around one large community sleeping area. It worked perfectly...that is, until it slowly collapsed on top of our huddled bodies during the night.

The immediate focus of the night seemed to be to keep warm in any way possible. We were encouraged to keep moving–the UW response team came around several times during the night to poke anybody they saw not moving in order to make sure they were not dead. We avoided this imposition of our personal space by running around playing ultimate frisbee with numbed fingers, kicking around a volleyball flattened by the cold, taking a midnight walk around Ring Road, and just becoming more intimate with frequent group huddles. We could go inside the SLC anytime we got too cold, where food and drinks were provided. It was amazing how wonderful a little thing like something warm to eat or drink was when you were that cold.

It was also a night of learning. We had three discussion groups during the night: breaking stigmas and stereotypes about homeless people, sharing stories and experiences, and discussing how you can make a difference on all levels. So many of the people there were knowledgeable on the topic, and had so many stories to share about how homeless people are just like you and me, although often more hospitable and wanting to share the little they do have. Homelessness is much more rampant than we think in Canada, and right here in Waterloo. In 2005, 2,653 individuals accessed emergency shelter services in the Waterloo region and many households are only three paychecks away from homelessness (Homelessness and Housing Umbrella Group). It is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

Sleeping outside on the coldest night of the fall helped me to realize just how hard it would be to be homeless–we thought we were cold, in our winter garb, when we had access to warm shelter, food and drinks with the promise of a warm bed only one night away. To think that over 2000 people within busing distance from our warm Grebel beds experience the cold every night. I can’t imagine sleeping on a park bench to wake up with your hair frozen to the wood, with no sensation in your fingers or face and calling that - that desolate, cold piece of unloved wood your home. Here at Grebel, we have so much. I think that it is time for us to share.

If you are interested in getting involved, you can go to the Homelessness and Housing Umbrella Group website: http://www.hhug.ca.

Written by: Sara Brubacher

7½ Tips for Surviving Your Holiday Away From Grebel

As the term draws to an end, I try to remember what my life was before Grebel. Vague memories of days without death muffins are all that I come up with. It’s hard to imagine what my first Christmas home from university will be like. What culture shock! So, if you’re dreading move-out day and being away from your many Grebel friends, here are some tips to help you get through. See you soon, and happy holidays!

1. Don’t actually leave. Find yourself a comfortable hiding spot in the air ducts (or somewhere…) and wait until the dons leave. Then, enjoy free reign of the place.

2. If hibernation isn’t really your style, scavenge food from the caf, enough for one week, and slowly wean yourself off Grebel food. This is less shocking to your system than a “cold turkey” approach.

3. Work the “c”-word into every conversation that you have with relatives. Community, people! (Get your heads out of the gutter.)

4. Eat butter. Lots.

5. Play loud music and invite friends over between 10:00 pm and 11:00. It’s expressive hour!

6. Eat all of your meals off of a tray, even your turkey dinner.

7. Sing a harmony part to every song that you hear, à la David Penny and the Coppers.

7½. Have toast on Christmas night…because it’s Thursday.

Written By: Kyrie Vala-Webb

Missed Connection

Dear Dark and Dangerous,
I saw you take an extra death muffin at snack night a while ago. I love a man with a dangerous side. It’s good to know you like good old-fashioned Mennonite cooking since I plan on cooking and baking lots for us and our future seven children.

- Signed, Baked Betty

Movie Review: Twilight

For those of you who have been awaiting the release of the movie Twilight and have been watching the movie trailer for months now, the wait is finally over and it is well worth the wait. From the casting to the soundtrack everything exceeded expectations. As an avid reader, I went into this movie with relatively low expectations and was not expecting at all the cinematic masterpiece that it was. Another viewer, Dani Hoover said after viewing this work of art, “Mind-blowing! This has changed the course of my life dramatically!!”

The film begins with Bella Swan moving from her hometown of Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Oregon to live with her dad. There she meets a boy named Edward Cullen, who at first seems horrified by her. She begins to notice oddities about Edward and the rest of his family who all attend Forks High School. They begin to get know each other as lab partners, and then after a traumatic event they admit their feelings for each other. You’re probably thinking now that this sounds a lot like any other romance movie you’ve seen, but you probably weren’t expecting this twist.

Edward is a vampire! But don’t worry; he’s not your typical coffin-sleeping, Count Dracula-type vampire. Actually he’s a vegetarian with piercing gold eyes, cold pale skin, and biceps that resemble that of Arnold Schwarzenegger. At first glance, you are rendered helpless. And it’s not just Edward Cullen, the whole family is beautiful, there is no other word to describe them. Let me emphasize this is not your typical love story, rather an uplifting and awe-inspiring story about two people in love where one is in a constant struggle against the killer instinct inside.

Finally, we’d like to leave you with a quote from Edward Cullen, “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." and then "What a stupid lamb," replied Bella.

Written by: Katie Penner and Dani Hoover

George is a Good Boy

Mama told me, Son be a good boy
And I a good boy, I a good boy

I live with Mama and my big brother, Silvano.
Silvano's a good boy, but sometimes not so good
But Mama says he's a good boy, so he's a good boy
Even if Silvano shouts loud sometimes
And if the Police don't like him sometimes
Silvano is a good boy

Yesterday he shouted at the neighbor lady
She's a good neighbor lady, our neighbor lady
So why is Silvano shouting at the good lady?
And why does he have such a big hammer
With a big hammer it must be a big nail
Because Silvano is a good boy
Good boy's help neighbor ladies
The neighbor lady is always nice to me.
I am always nice to the neighbor lady
But why does Silvano shout at neighbor lady
I hope Silvano is a good boy
And doesn't make Mama cry

So, I want to let you know, Mr. Policeman.
Silvano may not be a good boy all the time
But Silvano isn't here right now, Mr. Policeman.
I'm not Silvano, Mr. Policeman. I'm George
Silvano is my brother
I'm not trespassing, not trespassing
I live with Mama and my big brother, Silvano.
I a good boy, a good boy
And maybe if you'd stop hitting me
You'd see I a good boy,
Just like Mama told me.

Written by: Dylan Thomas

bus stop strangers

It's a winter's evening,
about six hours past noon.
I'm contained within my own little world, but
that is not to be for long.
Crunching and clomping starts me from
cranial meanderings
Suddenly another is there
Red toque over long hair; dark, it seems.
No eye contact, no introductory ice-breaker.
You too have appointments within your self.
Standing, us both, awaiting.

Painted as a tableau, streetlights shining
across snow and inky glistening black roads.
Lights, green, red, casting streaks from traffic lights
the orange hand alternately shouting
and silent, calling a simple message to unpresent pedestrians.
A third joins us, wheeling a bicycle.
Hatless, mittless, he keeps his hands in his pockets
after fiddling with a black-striped white card.
A WatCard, maybe. His passport to transport.
We stand silent, nearly unmoving,
three unfamiliar musketeers,
promising nothing less than continued unspokenness,
All for none, and one for self.

Near statues we are, waiting.
Waiting, quietly for a bus to come
To continue our journey of silent solitude.

Written by: Lukas A. Matthews