Letter from Buffy Margarita Marianna Papodopolous!

Dear World, aka. Grebel

Please allow me to introduce myself: my name is Buffy Margarita Marianna Papodopolous. You may remember me - or at least my ID - from Single and Sexy. I was not a part of the show, my calling has never been the stage. I am far more comfortable sitting back and watching the happenings in this world and then commenting on them. Since my youth, the wisdom of these comments has been universally recognized and I would like to offer to share my advice with you. Send me your predicaments, your trials and your woes and I will use all the accrued wisdom of my 38 years to reply.

And now that my introductory spiel is out of the way, let's move on to the important part of this column: you and your queries...

Dear Buffy, I fell in love on the Walk a Mile but I couldn't see my true love's face. What should I do?

- Blinded by love

Dear Blinded,

You poor soul, I am so sorry you have had to wait so long for a reply, but never fear, the answer is quite simple: All you have to do is set out on a lap of the Grebel residence (and don't forget those off-campus residents and associates) and hold hands with every member of the opposite sex until you recognize the unmistakable grasp of your one true love.

Dear Buffy, where do salmon loins come from?

- Anatomically Confused

Dear Anatomically,

I've looked and I've researched. I've talked to fishermen, I've talked to cats, I've talked to the man who stands behind the tanks of fish at the grocery store. I've Googled, I've questioned, I've harrassed, I even broke down and cried once, but everywhere I go I get the same answer: "salmon don't have loins!" I am forced to consclude that this is a phenomenon unique to Grebel and if I were to hazard a guess I would say that they are likely composed of some sort of seafood with a generous addition of butter and a dash of Mennonite love. Enjoy!

. .. ...Buffy Margarita Marianna Papodopolous

aka. Buffy the Question Slayer

buffy.m.m.papodopolous@gmail.com